A Hypothetical Teenager; June 11 2025

My upcoming novel is available on paperback for preorder! It’s wild – even when the ebook announcement came out, this didn’t feel nearly as real as it does now. I’m going to have a book that I wrote in my hands, tangible, out in the world.

I’ve always wanted this. As hard as I’m still fighting for another publication, for a book advance that could dig me out of my debt and help me provide for my kid, I feel like…

I don’t know, like I can finally say I’m an author. Like it’s legit now. It was legit before with my short story publications but this is still different.

I’m holding onto this feeling and using it as an opportunity to ‘take a break’ – meaning, I get to read instead of write all the time. Reading is still technically part of my job, yet every time I’ve tried to sit down and read something in the past couple years, my brain rejects it.

It’s always ‘you should be writing’. I can’t convince myself to do anything else with my time.

But maybe things are different now.

I used to do nothing but read, as a kid. As a teenager. I skipped classes in high school to go read (but if you knew me at that age then no I didn’t, I was a dedicated and rule-abiding student). Once, I played hooky all afternoon and spent that time at a bookstore, sitting on the floor and going through book after book. I didn’t have the money to buy anything, so I probably drove the employees crazy, but they never kicked me out.

So that’s what I picture now, knowing my book will be out in paperback. Some teenager browsing adult horror books even though they technically shouldn’t be, picking it up off the shelf. Reading it all in an afternoon.

I hope that hypothetical teenager likes it.